Christy needs to Blog: Cynic in an unexpected place

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Cynic in an unexpected place

So a friend of mine told me today that her motto is "Expect 0 (Zero)". This is interesting because I don't think of her as cynical, though she can be at times. I understand that if you expect nothing from people, you will - in theory - never be disappointed. On the surface it seems like a great motto and that it would lead to happiness when people or situations exceed your non-existent expectations.

But thinking about it more, it just seems sad. Feeling that you can't rely or count on anyone? Feeling joy at the mere suggestion someone is actually doing their part - at work, home, for the good of others - seems just, well, sad. I like to expect J to come home and look at me lovingly. Aren't expectations a part of being able to look forward to something? We expect to have a good time at a party or other event. We expect to enjoy a special meal. We expect to be able to extend a loving greeting to family and friends. Will we be disappointed? Inevitably, yes, at some point. Will we be pleased when our expectations are met or exceeded? I think so and I think we be pleased more often than we will be disappointed.

Let's also consider that hopes are different than expectations. Expectations need to be reasonably attainable (though to stretch to get them is wonderful exercise). Hopes can be as far away as the moon. For example, I hope to see R's name in lights someday, but if that doesn't happen, I won't be disappointed (and I hope that she won't be either). I do expect her to do the things that will make her happy, no matter where this crazy life takes her. If that doesn't happen, I will be disappointed.

Perhaps I'm just the eternal optimist...
posted by MamaChristy at 1:49 PM | 0 comments | links |