The real reason I'm not NaBloPoMo-ing

For the next six days, I will clean everything that I touch in my house.

That's right. My mother-in-law is coming into town. And the cleaning frenzy has started.

My mil thinks she is the cleanest person in the world. I will admit, she is darn close to earning her title of "Queen of Clean." She's no Marc Summers but the woman can't leave a dish in the sink for more than a couple minutes and always shrinks one article of clothing when we visit because every load of laundry she does is washed in the hottest water possible. And she insists on washing clothes while we are there. I had to beg the woman to let me clean up after a meal the last time we were there because she had to have things perfect at all times and I had to lay on a heavy guilt trip of the we-didn't-spend-all-this-money-to-fly-2,000-miles-to-watch-you-clean variety to get her to play with my kid. He's a fun kid and I hated to see her not enjoy him for the few days we were there.

So I have a bit of a complex when she is coming to visit. She always finds something that isn't clean enough for her and points it out. Once is was "Your garbage disposal isn't fresh enough. You should pull out these pieces and clean them." Another time it was "You should vacuum behind your dryer. That's a fire hazard!" I think that she can tell I get a little steamed by it all and does it not because anything is really wrong, but because she enjoys seeing me a little irritated.

*sign* I will try to clean to perfection and yet I know she will look hard and find something not good enough. I won't commit to NaBloPoMo only because I don't want to feel like a failure at both a clean house and not posting one day because I'm trying to achieve the impossible.

My question to you is this: If my mil says that something isn't cleaned properly, what should I say to her? (Make me laugh, people! :)