It's the big question on my mind these days

When to have another baby.

I've the aches. The baby aches. I don't necessarily want to be pregnant right now. In fact, right now would be very, very bad, as my health insurance doesn't cover maternity care. It would cover complications of pregnancy - if I needed insulin for gestational diabetes, that would be covered but the prenatal and delivery care would not - so financially, we would have to wait until at least August to even think about getting pregnant again when I could be added to J's health insurance at his work.

But it's something I've been thinking about. If we started trying for a baby in August, then the very soonest we would have another bundle of joy would be only shortly before the boy's fourth birthday. That doesn’t seem too close together with the boy would old enough to help some (and not to mention being potty trained) but still close enough together that they would still be able to play and grow up together. A couple months ago, the boy was visibly upset if he saw me holding a baby for more than a moment. I had him say to me more than once "Mommy, I want that baby to go away!" I was worried and glad not to be pregnant right then. Now that he has been around some of the neighbor's babies a bit more, he's interested in them. He likes to be close to them, tell me what emotions he thinks they are feeling, hold them (with help, sitting on the floor) and was even very patient and sweet when the neighbor baby grabbed a fist full of his curls last week. I know that a couple hours with a relatively happy baby is a far cry (hardy-har-har!) from having a newborn in the house all the time, but at least I have seen some positive change in his attitude toward babies in general.

Perhaps I'm just wanting to plan a little. To have an idea what's coming and wonder when is the right time to add to the family. I don't know that there is a right time. I know that there isn't a right time to have a first child and I'm beginning to think that the same is true for additional kids.

I feel like there isn't ever more than a few months when I'm feeling settled and happy. There always seems to be something to ponder or worry about and wonder how it is going to change our lives. If it isn't a stressful time at J's work, it's building a house or wondering about a baby.

I'm looking into the crystal ball, but my future is cloudy right now. So take my mind off of my concerns and tell me about what you would like to or do see in your crystal ball right now.

Labels: baby, question