Christy needs to Blog: Just because you write a book (or two), you aren't automatically an expert

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Just because you write a book (or two), you aren't automatically an expert

Well, I'm certainly no expert in dating, but just because Sherry Argov wrote two NY Times best sellers, I don't think that she is either.

Last night on Dating Roadkill*, run by the lovely FunkyB , Sherry Argov, author of Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches, was the guest. I made my feeling about her original book clear the other day, but I did try very hard to give the excerpts of her newest book a fair shake when I read them. Unfortunately, it was more of the same extreme game playing as her first book. Perhaps it was even more disturbing. A woman who feeds leftover Chinese food from her date last night to her date tonight - two different guys, btw - is not only in poor taste, but poor hygiene! And this book is supposed to be for people in relationships in danger of stalling!

I started out by telling her that she makes a lot of good points about self-confidence, financial and emotional independence, taking it slow in a relationship that women are important for women to remember. But I take issue with the MEN in the books. Jerks who manipulate and push buttons to determine if they want to be with you. I read in a Chicago Sun-Times article (that was primarily positive) a quote from Sherry:

"The reality is that men stretch the truth and strategically omit critical information all the time in order to have their cake and eat it, too."

Who are these men? Are they the type of quality men that you want to date let alone marry? Well, not me. Sherry's response was that she did interview good guys. Guys with successful careers, educations and good looks. "Catches" she called them. But just because a man has all of those things, he isn't necessarily a catch. He isn't necessarily a guy that you want to do whatever it takes to keep him around. An a-hole in nice package is still an a-hole.

Sherry also mentioned that she felt that men's actions are more honest than their words. So "Nice Girls" should work to be a "Bitch" so that they can marry a guy whose words they can't trust? That's a GREAT message. And we wonder why divorce rates are topping 50%.

I can't help but wonder about all those poor women, beaten down by a series of bad relationships who turn to Sherry's books for help. Women who try to follow her guidelines despite the fact that they feel foreign and unnatural to their nice souls, and then wonder what it is that they are doing wrong. Poor things can't see it's the crummy men they find themselves dating. They need better quality men.

After I got off the phone, Sherry was obviously irritated by the fact that I stated I wouldn't be purchasing Why Men Marry Bitches because I didn't get that much out of her first book except my own irritation. She didn't really answer my question nor did she make a compelling case that her new book is much more than a rehash of the last one. No, she didn't like me one bit.

Perhaps I'm too much of a bitch for her.

*You can listen to how all this went down for yourself at the Dating Roadkill page.

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posted by MamaChristy at 6:33 PM | 3 comments | links |